Unfortunately, I am a Minnesota Vikings fan. To make matters worse, I am an all-encompassing Minnesota sports fan. And in the 30+ years I’ve spent cheering for the Minnesota Timberwolves, Twins, Vikings, Wild & North Stars, I’ve experienced more than my fair share of heartbreak. For examples of this, please reference: Gary Anderson missing a 38-yard field goal in the 1998 NFC Championship Game — his first missed field goal all season (he’d previously hit 35 of 35, a record at the time) — the Vikings would go on to lose in overtime; Blair Walsh missing a 27-yard field goal against the Seahawks (Vikings lose 10–9); Brett Favre’s interception against the Saints in the 2010 NFC Championship Game (Vikes lose in OT); and A-Rod’s 2-run homer over Joe Nathan in 2009 (Twins lose in the 11th). These, just to name a few.
To add insult to injury, the Vikings are tied for the most losses in Super Bowl history (1969, 1973, 1974, 1976); the Minnesota North Stars lost their only two Stanley Cup appearances before the team was moved to Dallas (where they finally won a Stanley Cup in 1999); the Timberwolves lost in the first round of their first 7 playoff appearances (they have never appeared in a Finals); Wild — 0 Conference Championships, 0 Stanley Cups, only 1 Division Title; and, since 1925, the Minnesota Twins have two World Series titles — to this day, the only two championships of all four Minnesota sports teams combined*. This heartbreak, though, goes largely unnoticed amongst sports fans, and we’re forced to listen to the obnoxious droning of others who claim to have endured more suffering.
This first became apparent during my sophomore year in college. I was living with a Boston Red Sox fan who wouldn’t shut up about the Curse of the Bambino. During those four days in October, when the Yankees squandered a 3-game lead in the AL Championship, we were all sitting on the couch cheering on the Sox, eager to witness the end of the Curse, and bring — what I thought — were much needed winning vibes to New Englan